The penny has dropped!

It’s only taken 45 years 9 months!

When I was five I wanted to be a fashion designer, twelve, a textile designer, at nineteen I had to go into what I knew, fashion shop manager. So you can see I have always been a dedicated follower of fashion in one way or another.

From managing a shop in the Fulham Road, being an assistant manager of a very fancy designer shop in Knightsbridge and a concession manager in a department store I made it into said department stores buying office. I was to spend the next seventeen years dedicating my life to learning, striving and battling bullying to climb the career ladder, I was going to get my buyership even if it killed me, and it damned near did!

The MD that was bullying me died and suddenly it was all change, in with the new out with the old. Suddenly we started seeing members of our beloved ‘family’ disappearing, my turn came suddenly in October 2013, just after my 44th birthday.

I was thrown into major depression, anxiety and panic attacks, nervous breakdown country.

In the last year and nine months with very close monitoring by my brilliant GP (when I actually can get an appointment), C.B.T , my amazing counsellor and my love of reading and learning, I have managed to pull myself out of the abyss and make the improvements I feel comfortable with.

I have decided that I don’t have to meet other peoples approval by dressing, acting and being a certain way, I wear what I like, because it suits me, it’s my look. I have always refused to be anybody’s little ‘fashionista’ but even more so now, I don’t have that sort of precious attitude. I love my family, friends and the planet we all live on, I want to live as cleanly and quietly as possible, that includes my diet, skincare and all other products that I need to use. I prefer to use alternative or holistic medicines as far as I can (I find diet has a lot to do with that) and most unlike anyone in my ‘sector’ I do not want to be seen as judgmental. I have never been a materialistic sort of girl, despite my job, so to go to work and not have major responsibilities and just be able to bring in enough to pay the rent and put food on the table is enough for me. My fabulous website, that has been created purely to help people (like me now!) who have no spare time to be messing about looking all over town for that perfect gift or classic accessory, will provide me with a bit of extra, to be able to treat myself now and then.

The penny has dropped, I am now my own woman, who is practicing emotional detachment, mindful meditations, eating and living cleanly. I am happy, healthy and looking forward to living my carefree, comfortable life in my way with my nearest and dearest.

Freedom of speech not to preach.

We are very lucky, at the moment, to live in a country where we have the freedom of speech and within reason, the choice to live as we please (this of course has to be within our means). I totally appreciate this until some people choose to take this one step further and start preaching or forcing their choices down your throat.

I started to think about this when I felt really quite offended by a friends status on Facebook, on the subject of the benefits of being child free. I, just like my friend, am a child free woman, I made that choice many years ago but, a bit like not eating meat I do not enforce these choices on other people. Over my 45 years I have heard them all, ‘never say never’, ‘you will change your mind, ‘It’s different when they are your own’ and the majority of women telling me I was selfish and it was unnatural blah, blah, blah. I choose not to have children for my own reasons, I have never felt maternal, I had a career, I was never with the right guy at the right time the list is endless, but all perfectly viable reasons for not bringing a baby into this world under my guidance! But I would never be anything but supportive of those who choose to have children. Just like the non- meat eating thing, that is again my choice, I’ve never really liked it, I am a lazy eater and have grown to really not relish the thought of it. But again it is not my place to dictate to other people what they want to put in their mouths.

We are all given the opportunity to make these informed, educated decisions and as individuals can do as we please. But that does not give us the right to force our choices down other peoples throats.

Which brings me back nicely to the offensive comment, it wasn’t the posted article ’12 reasons why being child free rocks’ it was actually being told   “Should be 13 reasons, with number one being – not having to put up with a whining, crying, ugly, annoying, smelly thing.”  As I have mentioned I am not a mother but I do have three very beautiful, treasured nieces and would hate to think that anyone could see them as that. Children are very special gifts and their innocence and wonderful wide eyed view of the world is infectious and should be respected for what it is. I often think if only we could stay like that, what a much nicer world this would be to live in.

Remember you are lucky to have the freedom of speech, but do not cross the lines into preaching and offending people by pushing your opinions at people, especially on a subject that is so subjective and human.